{"id":4158,"date":"2026-01-20T13:27:29","date_gmt":"2026-01-20T12:27:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wolfgang-kern.com\/?p=4158"},"modified":"2026-01-20T13:27:32","modified_gmt":"2026-01-20T12:27:32","slug":"bin-ich-ein-guter-mensch-warum-perfektion-nicht-das-ziel-ist","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wolfgang-kern.com\/en\/bin-ich-ein-guter-mensch-warum-perfektion-nicht-das-ziel-ist\/","title":{"rendered":"Am I a good person? Why perfection isn't the goal"},"content":{"rendered":"

Am I a good person? Why perfection isn't the goal<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

Do you know that feeling when your past catches up with you? When you lie awake at night thinking about moments when you behaved anything but \"well\"?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my latest video, I ask myself a question we ask far too rarely \u2013 because it hurts: Am I actually a good person?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

My first, honest answer: Not automatically.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

We live in a time that often seems cold and divided. Anger and outrage appear to be the currency of the internet. This makes it all the more important to talk about empathy, a culture of learning from mistakes, and genuine change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The burden of the past<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

In the video, I speak openly about my own mistakes. Things I did as a teenager. Moments in my marriage when I used words solely to hurt. It's easy to suppress these things. But they are a part of me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I've learned that we often believe that being \"good\" means making no mistakes. But that's an illusion. Nobody's perfect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Empathy as a superpower<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

What truly changed me wasn't the desire to be perfect, but the capacity for empathy<\/strong>. Interestingly, my own experience with anxiety helped me with this. When you feel deep pain or fear yourself, you develop a finer radar for the suffering of others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Empathy is perhaps the most important skill we can cultivate today: understanding that fear often lies behind another person's anger, and recognizing that everyone carries their own burdens.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take responsibility instead of being perfect<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

The most important message I want to give you is this: Being a \"good person\" doesn't mean having a clean slate. It means:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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  1. Own your sh*t:<\/strong> Own up to your mistakes. Don't deny them.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  2. Apologize:<\/strong> Not half-heartedly, but sincerely.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  3. Work on yourself:<\/strong> Change is possible if we truly want it.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    My wife was my mirror. She showed me that she doesn't expect me to be perfect \u2013 but that I am willing to work on myself. And that is exactly the chance we all have. Every single day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    We can't stop the coldness in the world alone. But we can push back with kindness, compassion, and altruism. Even \u2013 and especially then \u2013 when we ourselves have failed before.<\/p>\n\n\n\n