Do you know that feeling when your past catches up with you? When you lie awake at night thinking about moments when you behaved anything but "well"?
In my latest video, I ask myself a question we ask far too rarely – because it hurts: Am I actually a good person?
My first, honest answer: Not automatically.
We live in a time that often seems cold and divided. Anger and outrage appear to be the currency of the internet. This makes it all the more important to talk about empathy, a culture of learning from mistakes, and genuine change.
In the video, I speak openly about my own mistakes. Things I did as a teenager. Moments in my marriage when I used words solely to hurt. It's easy to suppress these things. But they are a part of me.
I've learned that we often believe that being "good" means making no mistakes. But that's an illusion. Nobody's perfect.
What truly changed me wasn't the desire to be perfect, but the capacity for empathy. Interestingly, my own experience with anxiety helped me with this. When you feel deep pain or fear yourself, you develop a finer radar for the suffering of others.
Empathy is perhaps the most important skill we can cultivate today: understanding that fear often lies behind another person's anger, and recognizing that everyone carries their own burdens.
The most important message I want to give you is this: Being a "good person" doesn't mean having a clean slate. It means:
My wife was my mirror. She showed me that she doesn't expect me to be perfect – but that I am willing to work on myself. And that is exactly the chance we all have. Every single day.
We can't stop the coldness in the world alone. But we can push back with kindness, compassion, and altruism. Even – and especially then – when we ourselves have failed before.
